Today might of been one of my favorite nights. Something about rainy thundering nights and having a quiet conversation can really be fantastic. It's been such a long time since I've had a conversation with someone and everything that's going on really didn't matter. I like it.
I know it's somewhat pathetic that I got off the phone, turned on the P.C walked to the living room, peeked out the window and looked up at the sky, came back and decided to blog. I know I won't be able to fully explain as to why I decided to do this at this moment and time but it seemed right. Finally something felt right.
Here is where I say being a girl sucks, mainly because of all these raging emotions swirling in your head that drive you insane. For once though I was able to say what was on my mind and not have an awkward silence or someone complaining about what I said. I got a "You know I completely understand what you mean, and you're right." Along with feedback. It's nice to not feel too crazy around someone especially when it's pertaining to emotions.
I came to realize about the potential Victor and I can have. Quite honestly I'm pretty scared about what can come about this relationship we have, or as he said "Yeah I bet you're scared shitless about what we could have huh? You're practically shitting bricks just like I am." How right he is. He's had just about as much luck with relationships as I have and we can talk about them and laugh. The best advise I heard was "Let it happen" from some wise girl Victor was talking to at a party.
"Let it happen". As in don't control whatever may occur just let it go it's own direction, don't dictate what can come out of it and don't force what isn't there. Just let it happen. It actually makes more sense now that it did when we talked about it. It's hard to just "Let it happen". Actually it isn't if it works it works if it doesn't oh well we're boned.
I've grown a liking to talking to him mainly because he gives me plenty of good material to think about and it lets me pour out my emotions and he'll have an answer or saying to anything I say. That's what I needed. I mean yeah he questions me about why or how I feel about it but he understands what I say better.
"Babe one day you're gonna meet a stud, a guy. Maybe it's me maybe it's someone else and You're gonna fall in love with him that everything and everyone in the past isn't going to matter. That's the day you'll know you've found the right guy the one you need."
The "Jock" and the "Loser" it's what we are. It's a strange mix but we have so much in common he actually "gets" me and my odd comments or odd word placings and I like his rauchy straight to the point answers and thoughts. I don't expect anyone to understand how this works because I can't find the right words to describe it but maybe it isn't meant to be described. I think I will let it happen just for kicks and see what grows out of this.
I keep listening to A Walk Through Hell by Say Anything over and over on my mp3 it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Just like when he asks me if I'm his everyday.
Mr. Nieto has been mentioned,
Ms. Landeros
And what about me?! I have no mention in ANY of your blog posts. :(