There's something about waking up in the morning and the first thing you look at is the person who makes shit so much better in this world. Everyone feels differently in said situation but I feel at peace. Everything that's gone wrong or what may go wrong doesn't matter at that moment.
It's the feeling of running your fingers through their hair and feeling their rhythmic breathing and beating heart all in different tempos. The need to cover them with your blanket because they're curled up butt naked and you're unjustly clothed.
I felt older when I felt this. I felt like I had peeked into life 10 years from now.
The feeling of a pair of eyes following your every moment while getting dressed in the morning to go to the store and sharing pancakes even though you hate them. I loved it.
I never felt that before. I love it. Even the night before feeling them there with you in more than one way. I felt complete. Being complete something I'm usually not familiar with. Knowing that all the pieces of the puzzle are there and all I have to do is put them in order to make this master piece. For once, things aren't such a mess.
The way I love has matured. I'm not looking for the superficial aspects but for what's inside. A 3 yr and 11 month age distance doesn't mean a thing for once because I can be a kid with him. It's the point of loving someone is being yourself with them? I can do that 100% with out being judged. I can talk about the fact that I finished that last stupid Twilight book "Breaking Dawn" and liked it. Admit that I do worry about things I shouldn't and feel good about not hiding it. What else could I ask for?
It's the fear of knowing they'll be leaving soon to their home state and terrified of being left alone again. Feeling the tears run down my cheek thinking about the endless possibilities that in my past usually never seem to fail. The fact that my priorities could clash with his and making me worry a bit about the outcomes.
And in the end, getting ahold of yourself and just holding on to their hand and taking the leap. If fate destiny whatever you want to call it brought us together it was for a reason and looking ahead. Knowing that we're the best that's happened to each other regardless of how many times we've said and felt that with other people. We just hope that it's legit and so far it has been.
Just Noticed I have A Hickey on My Left Shoulder Blade,
Ms.Landeros
