"Get Naked from your waste down, get on the table [please]"
Ohh, if only some sexy dark skinned guy with an accent had said that to me I would of complied with no hesitation (not really). To my luck I HAD to go to the gynecologists. I figured I'd see one when I was pregnant, about to give birth or maybe when I was old, pruned and dried up. (Bleh!) But no. My gynecologist was a woman. I'm not too sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Fuck, I'm not even sure if it even made a difference that it was a woman! I mean there IS only so much I can do when someone, who's name I can barely pronounce, says "Relax, spread your legs and quit clenching you bottom." Right when she says that she's probing my va-jayjay with some foreign medical object and (medically) fingering me. To top off this beautiful, not-so-rare-visit the awkward silence followed. Not just any awkward silence but the kind that follows after having REALLY bad sex.
Although, sitting there naked from the waist down got me thinking. I looked around and read the posters of all sorts of malfunctions and diseases the va-jayjay has. I felt old. I seriously said "Yup. Life, you're just going on forward hauling ass and you don't give a damn if I'm kicking and screaming trying to stall time to not get old, huh?"
Fuck It. It is what it is.
It's nice though to have a breather between the dull, agonizing hours of school and the hustle and bustle of life. Me and wine don't go well together, it fucked me up. It was nice though meeting new people and making friends. I don't know if it was the alcohol that made us all have a great time or the energy we had. Who knows maybe it was both. Whatever it was, it lead to a great night of laughing, stumbling and dancing. I love people, I love my friends, I love life. 'Nough said.
This is where I break-off into rambling about my relationship. Due to past posts by this point I'm spitting venom, talking bad and cursing horribly about my boyfriend. This time it's different.
Sometimes, when you realize how much you really love someone and I mean absolutely LOVE someone, it takes the most simplest pleasures and occasions.
Years back if someone would of said you're spending your birthday at the park with just ONE person and a small cake, I probably wouldn't show up and slept the day off.
For Davids' birthday I was low on cash, I wanted to something great for him but my plan wasn't going anywhere without mula. We went to Wall-Mart and I bought it him a small chocolate cake, maybe around 5 inches and some candles.
After my failed attempt at lighting all 25 candles we ate the cake together and left some for him later when he got to his place. We spent time laughing on the grass, horse playing and at some point danced with no music and with people around us watching. That day to this day has been the most fun I've had with at the park with someone else in a long time.
I enjoyed the simplest pleasures life can give me with my partner. Who else can say that a day low on cash, a small cake, green grass and a dance without music was the best day ever? That's when I knew I truly love him and only him. It's not about an expensive gift, liquor, or a party with people who just go for the food and the booze. It's about how something so small is worth so much more than everything put together.
The feeling of making someone feel loved and special and making you feel the same way just by doing it. That's one of the best feelings ever.
To others this may seem insignificant and lame but I challenge you to do something with your significant other or just with anyone who means something to you. Go some place where you can actually hear each other, love each other soberly, dance with no music, play and laugh like a child for 4 hours. You'll see how fast the time flies and how you wished the day never ended.
If it doesn't go fast, well then reconsider why you're in that relationship, what will be left when the appearances change, the aging process kicks in, when you're too wrinkled and old to get with someone that appeals to you? It's more than just looks and whatever comes with the looks it's the inside that stays with you forever.
You've been gone for 18 days I'm already wasting away. California seems 1,000 light-years away, but I feel you close to me like you're next to me when I'm alone. It might be because I always carry you in my heart.
With Love,
Ms.Landeros
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