That Kind of Night

You know when the weather is cold and you can't help but lay back really LISTEN to a song and you can't help but remember the past...
I'm in an amazing relationship right now, I'm happy as I ever was. I'm looking forward for the holidays regardless of how muddy the future looks I'm looking forward to what comes next...

I thought back to my first boyfriend and realized that each one taught me a lesson in life. I've applied the lessons and I'm happy where I am now. I've made mistakes in the past and I've felt pain and I've caused pain in the past.

I'm lucky that I can say I appreciate "Love", I realized there are others that will never or won't find the concept and the point of love. I can't define love because everyone sees it differently. To me Love is 2 people in their simplest form. Like a math equation, like 2 pure elements. 1+1=2. Material gain, wealth mean nothing if you can't spend 4 hrs with the person and have fun, Innocent fun. Laughing, talking, giggling like kids in the playground. Pure Love.

I know love hurts and it causes deep scars but the same way love can hurt it can also cure. Just gotta find your definition of love, the way you want your significant other to accept you as you are you should accept them completely especially their flaws. You can't change a person but if you're open minded and try to improve yourself they will also.

How To Love...
Oli...

Undisclosed conversation

After sharing a video of someone shitting their pants David and I had a random conversation ... I won't disclose who said what but it went something like this...

xxxxx: how do you not a piece of crap is coming out

xxxxx: but

it she says it was the runs

you know the ones that just by laughing
causes it to you know
hershey squirt
outta there

xxxxx: lol oh yeah

xxxxx: the hershey squirts

xxxxx: aww it's funny cuz it's happen to everyone
so it's awkward

xxxxx: has it happened to you

xxxxx: well i do have an asshole
and i do eat random shit
and i am mexican
so yeah

xxxx: me to


Hmm.. You know it's real when you can talk about shit and laugh.. literally...

Over and out,
Oli <3

Day 9 - Someone You wish to meet

Dear Bill Maher

I may not technically might ever meet you but I would love to. I would so enjoy having a conversation with you with maybe a bit of weed on the side and laugh at everything that isn't right in the world.

Cheers!

-Oli

Day 8 - Your Favorite Internet Friend

Dear Ian,

You were so funny back in the days. I could always count on you to get a laugh. We grew apart and we're all grown up now. I hope you're doing well :).

-Oli

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/love/crush

Dear Haze, (lol)

Looking back to where it all started makes me laugh at how innocent we were. 7 years ago almost a decade. I'm not gonna get mushy and I'm not gonna hate on you because there really is nothing to hate about. You're one of the coolest guys I've come across from, your quirky and always have something to say even though it's nothing. If that made any sense then you know what I mean. I do wish we could of been better friends though idk why. I think we would of made like worlds greatest besties or something. (ok no that was lame). But anyways.

At some point I tried finding things that reminded me of you in past guys, which of course led me no where. I did learn though that to find someone you gotta look past the appearance and 'get them'. No I'm saying that your ugly because your not. I mean, understand what's going on in that persons head and find common ground to where it's enjoyable to talk to them and laugh with them. I thank you for that.

I thank you for teaching me how to cope with heart ache as lame as that sounds but you know what I mean. We talked about this I think after well... you went what I went through and apologized. ( I hope you remember). You didn't need to apologize. It's life and things happen for reasons, you learn by things to be ready and know what to do if you're back in square one.

Most importantly you inspired me to keep the kid inside me alive not go all bitter and sour and enjoy life and whatever it throws at you. Take it a day at a time. And look at things in different angles instead of going from point A to point D go through B C and sometimes E F and G.

I decided to wait and write this on your birthday because it seemed right in my perspective. The only reason why I remembered your birthday was because I was adjusting my Snoopy calendar and placed it on May 23 and your birthday suddenly came to mind. I get those sometimes. I'll be minding my own damn business doing something and a random memory or something we've talked about comes to me and I just smile. And I cannot pass a crayola box and insist that clear is a color.

I do think about you from time to time and hope that you're doing alright. I mean it. I do hope that you are happy and you find something that drives you and someone that deserves you. I know you will someone as sappy and as witty as you shouldn't have a hard time sooner or later someone will come along. I know it.

Like I've told you if you ever need someone to talk to, or just kill time with I'm around.

-Rose

P.S Happy Birthday!

Day 6 - Stranger

Dear Woman of Asian Decent,

Your blessings and your hopes and support of never giving up school will always be in my heart. You are one of the nicest customers I've ever helped. I thank you for always commenting on something good that I do. I rarely get good comments but thank you so much. I enjoy knowing that you find my humor funny and that I can help you in whichever way I can. I hope you're doing well too. And somehow I hope my good intentions can reach you and give you any sort of good luck and help. What ever you life path is I can only hope that all is well. Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
The Cashier who just blushes when you say my dimples are cute.

Day 5- Dreams

Dear Dreams,

Don't worry I'll get my shit done. We've had some set backs but its all good I know if I don't give up I'll make anything want happen. As long as I believe in myself and everything I have faith on I will go far.

-Oli


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Day 4 - Your Sibbling (Close Relative)

Dear Tony,

I've seen you grow from the inside of a belly and out to the young man that you are right now. I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished and all the obstacles that you've jumped over. I remember how shy and how much you struggled to get your groove and settle down in school. Now I'm sure you don't have any trouble with that.

I know you're my nephew but we're only 7 yrs away from each other you're almost like a little brother that I never had. I know I don't have enough time to talk to you and goof around like we used to. Either way I'm always here for you no matter what, I'm only a text, phone call or facebook message away. Thank you so much for all those little bits of funny memories that I sometimes look back at when I have a shitty day at work or at school and smile.

I'm anxious to see you grow up and see who or what you turn out to be and I'm sure you will become someone important. Just look at your self now. I was anxious to see you enjoy high school and you already are and it's just your freshmen year think about all the exciting times waiting for you these next 3 years. And trust me I'll always be there just let me know a week ahead so I can ask it as a day off for work. lol

Well anyway, I love you punk.

Always,
Your Tia Chilly

Day 3 - Your Parents

Mom and Dad,

You probably won't read this but I'm pretty sure I've showed it to you both in more than one way. I'm thankful for all you've done for me. Thank you is not enough for the amount of things that you both have given me. I will say though that I've learned so much from the two of you. The person you see now is from all the good and bad times, the hard times and the good times that we've had. I know we've been going through some tough times recently but we're all still here for each other.

You guys have inspired me to keep going forward and never give up. If obstacles come may way it's OK to fall behind all that matters is that I climb them and surpass them. I owe you both an education and that's what I intend to get I'm going full speed ahead and I'm sure both of you have seen it regardless how many pauses I need to take to get there. I love you both with all my heart. Let's see what life throws at us.

With Love,
Chilly

Day 2 - Your Crush/Love

Dear David,

Before I began to write this I went through my songs on my laptop and picked songs that some how remind me of me and you or just you, yourself. So far it was 135 songs, about 8.4 hours of music. I don't know where or how to start but first of all I can say I am blessed that you came into my life when you did. Let's back track a bit. When you came into my life, I had just had the messiest break up ever and an affair with someone while dating that person. My life would have been in shambles have you not come when you did. You made me reflect what I was doing. You made me realize that I am worth more than what I would say. You made me feel human. You made me remember how to open up and not be afraid to show you everything I would hide from everyone. I didn't have to hide who I was you took me as I was and loved every bit of it. To my surprise you were just like me.

Now I know that not everything has been so smooth. I know I made some bad choices and of course we've had our share of arguments. Either way, we still stuck with each other. I'm so sorry for any pain I've caused you. You know how I am and you know why I do the stuff I do or say. I'm an idiot for ever straying away. I'm a dumb ass for falling into a charlatans tricks. You know what I'm talking about. I almost lost you in that process. All this time I was in search for love and attention and something real when there I was staring it the entire time. You.

I still can't forget the first day we met it was as if our eye locked and our future just flashed in front of our eyes. I guess that's why I wanted to step outside and take a breathe. You left me breathless lol. I don't know I almost wanted to faint. Then there's of course the “street fest” we never went to. Ugh what a mess that day was but at the end it had a great ending. I wouldn't stop smiling the entire way home. As we went along we made so many memories and we faced so many obstacles that we surpassed. I'm pretty sure you've figured out that I'm not a very easy person to deal with but like any strange object I have a certain way to be approach. You've learned the hard way a few times.

I'm sorry that I get mad so fast. I don't mean to get mad I just sometimes forget that you're human and can't read my mind or understand me when I talk a mile a minute or mumble words. I guess I get so used to you understanding me that I assume that you should know what I mean. I'm really sorry.

I also wanna thank you for not throwing me out of the car even though I deserve it sometimes. I wanna thank you for being the shoulder I can bury my head in and cry on. I wanna thank you for so many things I'll take so long to mention. Thank you for so many wonderful things you've made me feel and all the times you've made me laugh when I needed to laugh. Thank you for hearing me out whenever I'm being a “pissy-pants”.

You're more than just my boyfriend, Love. You're my soul-mate, my best friend, my comrade, my partner in crime, my drug, my passion, my reason for wanting a better life and most importantly my angel. You're my fallen angel who left heaven and came to save me and guide me from this hell called earth. You're so much more that words cannot describe you fill me with an immense feeling that's bigger than you or me and the universe I don't even know how I contain it.

I can't wait to see what the future has for us. But together or apart you are the most AMAZING person that has ever walked into my life. You've left a mark in my soul that will never be erased. If we are meant to be together and keep writing in each others chapters which I do hope we do I'm excited for what lies ahead for both of us. I wish we could fast forward time and start living our lives but I the waiting and the battles is what makes it worth while.

For now, lets enjoy our lives a day at of time. Have fun like we always do and do stuff like we always do. Everyday together with you is a new adventure. Every hour with you is heaven on earth, every moment with you is priceless and unforgettable

.

Thank you so much for all the laughs, I love you Stinky pants/Enojon/Mocoso.

Love Forever and Always,

Pee-pee Pants.

Day 1 My Best Friend

This was hard to pick but it felt right..

Dear Jose,

Dude, We've been through plenty. I remember playing with you and Bea when we were kids outside of your house, and all the rides home as kids in your moms old car, and staying over at your house when my dad was in the hospital back in kinder garden. Not until high school did we become close friends but really you're almost family to me.

You've seen me at my best and at my worst. We always seem to find something to laugh at and no matter how long we go without talking of seeing each other we still keep it real. I know school, work and relationships keep us from kicking it as often as we used to but we always have a good time when we are together.

I wanna thank you for the numerous things you've done for me and my family. For being there when I need someone to talk to or just hear me hate on the world. It's cool that we know what we both go through and how we can back each other up. I'm always gonna be here for you man I owe you so much. I'm so lucky to have a friend like you cuz I can always rely on you.

Lol idk why I always remember that stupid BOA competition at Andres High and the montwood horses getting blown by the wind. lol that shit was soo funny I swear i thought we were gonna get kicked out. We should buy some beers and just sit outside and talk. We still haven't had a buddy day lol.

Miss you friend :)

Sincerely,
"Chilly"

30 Day Letter Challenge

Here it goes...

• Day 1 — Your Best Friend
• Day 2 — Your Crush
• Day 3 — Your parents
• Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
• Day 5 — Your dreams
• Day 6 — A stranger
• Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
• Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 — The person you miss the most
• Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
• Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 — The last person you kissed
• Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

If I had A Dollar..

If I had a dollar for every time my dad said "I'll do [ insert action] tomorrow I'd have about 134 dollars for every year.

If I had a dollar for every time I told my sister I'll go to the gym with her next wednesday I'd have 59 a year

If I had a dollar for every time I winged it i'd have about 365 a year.

If I had a dollar for every boy I ever kissed starting from elementary school I'd have about 30

If I had a dollar for every time I had my heart broken I'd have about 15

If I had a dollar for every time someone promised me something I'd have 200

If I had a dollar for every time someone assumed i had a kid i'd have about 60 dollars

If I had a dollar for every concert I said I wanted to go to but didn't I would have about 150 dollars

If I had a dollar for every friend whom I've lost contact with i have over 150 dollars

If I had a dollar for every time I forgot to text the most important people in my life i would have 365 dollars

If I had a dollar for every time I don't do what I say I would do I'd have over 500 dollars

If I had a dollar for every time I wake up in the morning and ask myself "ughh... I'm 22 and still doing pointless bullshit.." I'd have 2oo dollars

If I had a dollar for every time I cringe at the word wedding I'd have about 300

Obviously If I really did have a dollar for everything I ever thought about getting a dollar I would be rich.

If I had a dollar for every time I said I would have a dollar right now i would have about 15.

Spit Spat...Sput?

Happy 2011 we're 1 year closer to the end of the world!

Well whatever happens happens but until then we got alot of life to live. Much has happened much has change much more change and great times are coming.

Currently I'm employed. School started and it looks like a prosperous year. I got plenty to say but not sure how to fit it all in I'll try my best.

I realized I'll be 23 this year (this realization came after out income tax lady asked me how old I was). I felt kinda crappy but happy. It's a good thing the girls from work think I look 16 or 18 so it's not that bad. I feel indifferent about it because I'm living my life a day at a time, I'm not setting fo the simple mediocre life but I'm just taking it as it goes. I know there's alot of life ahead of me and anything goes nothing goes as planed. Don't get me wrong I do have set goal but I'm keeping it open for whatever comes.

I'm still sick I think i have sinusitis all that seems to come out are boogers. Yeah I'm full of snot what of it? Hopefully it goes away soon my voice is irritating me already I rather stay quiet and nod rather than hearing my nasaly "nine nine -ie-nine" (9.99) voice. Is there a device that can suck all the snot out? if so, could I please be directed toward it because this is getting ridiculous. And before someone says "Go see a Doctor" I am... the appointment is feb. 14...

Work is alright, I like the people there's maybe 1 girl that we just can't see eye to eye so we're in the "I won't talk to you unless I have to" phase. Everyone else is pretty chill I'm keeping it on the down low though don't wanna get on anyone that matters bad side. I'll say this though working with people is the hardest job in the world. People know just what to say or what to do to piss you off because they you you are not able to say anything about it cuz you'll lose your job.

I learned another thing to people are really "codos" penny pinchers. I'd never met a person who will fight tooth and nail for 2 cents. It makes me realize alot of stuff though people will fight for the death to get cheap(er) beer, not spend all their WIC money or LoneStar money. People will rarely say keep the change if it's a penny and will dig into their pockets to get rid of change. If you haven't guessed where I work I work at a grocery store.

Already my life skills are increasing. Go Me.

Earlier I thought about writing about GOD. Not in a religious AAAAAVEEE MAAARRRIIIIAAAA kind of way but in a, What the fuck did god do to get blamed for half the shit that happens. Seriously if you think about it many many many MANY people have died in the name of GOD. From Spain conquering the Aztecs, England and the Native Americans, The Middle east and so on and so forth. What if there isn't a GOD? Who did these people really die for? Or what if there is a GOD and he's up there saying "You sons of Bitches I didn't tell you to go do that!" Don't forget the GOD damn it's and the GOD damn you's. If we keep this shit up god isn't gonna like us anymore.


Now that all of that's out of the way I'd like to point out that 9 months ago I started talking to a guy. He was stern hardly laughed and really straight to the point. After that 1 month passed and after breaking through he's tough exterior I got to know him better and fell in love with him. "remember the Disney Store" :). It's been a crazy 9 months with ups and downs but that's what makes it sweet the fact that we already been through some tough shit and we still keep on swinging. I think KNOW he's a keeper.

With Love,
MsLanderos